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Feb. 24th, 2005 @ 04:15 pm texas
Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: rise against - the art of losing
so mister tuesday night is going to texas in like less than four days.. i'll be gone for a week
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Jan. 25th, 2005 @ 02:19 am track.. 2... play
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: none
so this is my new journal layout... it will most likely change sometime soon cause i can't figure out what to do with it... plus i have not a big clue how to work this fucking site.... um.... i got wasted like all weekend cause myk came out to f town.... so like me & jeff got trashed with him. jeff & i went & did some electronic voice phenemena at the movie theatre... but the shit didn't work out... somehow or another.. both times we entered the abandon theatre.. his computer would just shut off like the ghosts were doing it & not wanting us to hear what goes down while we're in there... but i did end up videotaping some shit... nothing big.. no ghosts... but it's just some freaky ass shit cause that theatre is hella fucked up at night... good thing i was fucking trashed or else i wouldn't have went in there.... and ps.. my life sucks
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Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 11:47 pm blah blah bleep
Current Mood: just chilling
Current Music: none
it's been a long time since i updated this fucker... & i am not going to recap anything since the last time i wrote in it cause shit just makes me upset. so onto another note... i'm making my journal a friend's only just so unwanted can't read my shit.... because this live journal is just the same as a journal that people write in & hide under their beds.. or where ever they put the damn things. i don't want some people to read my shit...... that is about it. tiger woods 2004... is the shit on the xbox.... and um.... kristin is still mass gorgeous.. mmmm
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Jan. 4th, 2005 @ 02:11 pm the ambassidor of pain
Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: metallica - one
so let me tell the world how fucking pissed i am..... me liking kristin was the biggest fucking waste of my time ever.... i thought we liked each other but i guess it turned out that i only liked her hardcore.... i was like starting to so fall for her seriously hard.. then she's like... i wanna fuck jeff.... what the fuck. she says they didn't but i don't believe her... i think she did & just doesn't want to tell me.... out of respect for me i wouldn't think she would but then i found out that she 'has no god damn respect'... a little fear factory quote right there. and i think jeff would have a little more respect for me to sleep with her since he knows how much i like her... but i've been finding out that people are fucked up. and she wonders why i'm always in a shitty ass fucking mood when she's around me... hmmmm i wonder why... you don't have to be a fucking rocket scientist to figure that out. as far as the suicide girl photo shoot... i was totally chill with that. i was even chill with it at my house but then all of the sudden she wouldn't let me fucking watch?!?!... in my fucking room... on my fucking bed?!??!.... what fucking bullshit... why in the fuck they just go do it at jeff's house?! so yeah.. i am a ball of pissed offness if you couldn't tell by this writing. and the fact that she slept with some 27 year old emo trash guy while at her mom's house... didn't help the situation... then she was going to sleep with another guy the next night?!... i can't believe i have this strong feelings for this girl.... it sucks & hurts so bad at the same time. i guess i'm just jealous because this is the same fucking thing that happened to me before in relationships. like that bitch jaymi did it to me a fucking million times & it hurts... and even though kristin & i weren't together... i was trying to get with her because i like her so much. so i suppose it's somewhat like a flashback. i sometimes wish i never met her... cause this feeling is the worst ever. but not really i suppose cause i did make a good friend... it sucks cause my feelings for her just won't go away over night... so now i just get to sit here & want something i can never have.

well onto other shit.... the xmas break week was fucking intense. toastmaster came into town... and like the first 2 days of him being here... he fucked up his ankle while him & jeff were wrestling. so he went to the hospital & those people there are so fucking retarded but anywho... he got some pain killers & i took one when we got back to my house... and since i was trashed... that thing fucked me up... i had to crawl whereever i went.. it was tight. then shelly came up & stayed at my house for a few days... she came on xmas... and xmas i was so trashed! i woke up pissed off so i started to slam my vodka at like 10am... and was fucking wrecked by noon. then the rest of the day was a blur.... kink stopped by for a little bit... and then i went to the bar later on in the night. one of the nights... i got wasted with toaster and while we were at grind master's... grind master put a quarter that was on his fire stove for like 2 hours onto my arm & i got like an intsant blister.... ended up going to the bar later where it turned out to be an open bar curdisay of casey allen... so i just drank 151 & cokes all night. the next morning i woke up in my bed at like 10am.... and was like.. 'what the fuck is that smell'? walked into the living room & was wondering why it was kinda smokey. so i walked into the kitchen & discovered a pizza in the oven for like 10 hours... that fucker was black!!!! hahaha funny ass shit dude.... and as for new years... well i'll tell that a little bit later hahaha
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Dec. 7th, 2004 @ 10:31 pm this is... what is going on
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: none
so i'm sitting here with a chew in & that's about it. i can remember the day when i could sit on the computer for 12 hours a day... downloading songs... talking to people i met online... and other random shit. but now... i get bored as fuck with the computer after 12 minutes. as far as talking to people online.. that shit got hella old... especially these people i met online. i still have my crew of people online that i do talk with but i was more referring to the newer people. everyone is so fucking lame that i talk with now.. it sucks. no one can hold a good conversation at all. and like all the people that i liked to talk with online... never get online anymore... perhaps they have seen what i'm seeing right now.... could be.

i fucking hate rain.... all this stupid little judgemental hick town ever does is rain. i would actually like to get out & do some things even though i'm somewhat limited... but it's always raining. all i know is the first few days that it's not raining... i am so doing something.. even if it means doing it by myself. i need to get out & do something before i go insane. i'm probabaly going to drive to silverdale sometime this week & do some shopping since i haven't done that yet. that is actually something i can do in the rain since i'll be in a vehicle where i'm not getting wet & cold.

so the other night i had a friend open up to me. the friend says they feel bad about it but they shouldn't. i'm glad they did because it makes me feel like they can trust me more. and a lot of basis of friendship/relationships is trust. it makes me feel as if i'm not everyone else.. because you don't just open up like that to just anyone. and i do feel somewhat special for that=)

now onto something else.... i really do not jaymi to move back to this town. that would totally put a halt to anything i would ever have with kristin. jaymi & i are totally over... i have no room in my life for her anymore. i took her back once before & it'll never happen again. if that is for say... for some weird ass reason she wanted to which she better not... i'll be so pissed. i don't know if kristin still thinks i like/love her or not. all i know is that i do not... that peice of my life is definantly closed for good. i am way ready to move on.. shit son.. i was ready to move on when it ended fully the last time. i wasn't heartbroken over it. i'm not saying i don't have a heart.. i'm saying i was just over with it. i know if kristin & i ever got together which i hope happens... i know she would feel hella uncomfortable with jaymi living in this town. and i can see why. so the moral of this little rambling is that i do not want her to move back to this town & i don't want kristin to feel uncomfortable about it.

i am so stuck on my game right now.... damn. this call of duty: finest hour game so rawks but the shit is seriously hitting the fan now. some dude is like fixing our jeep on this level & i have to hold off a shit ton of people.. one of which is in this huge vehicle with a mounted 50 cal. machine gun. and my gun is so not doing a damn thing to help the situation. damn british army with their crappy ass guns.... i would so have not survived that war. actaully, i would have ran & hit in the mountains if iwas placed in that situation.. hahah... and then perhaps touched it....
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Dec. 3rd, 2004 @ 05:02 pm [random thought of the day]
Current Music: creedance clearwater revival - green river
this one comes to you from june of 2002 before i moved to port angeles. so we were having a party out at the mary clark... we had a party out there for 3 weekends in a row & i do believe this was the 2nd weekend we were out there. and i also believe... actually no we didn't have a keg out there for this one... just lots of alcohol... like mai-ti's & shit. so there is a giant field at the mary clark next to the old bar & bonfire. before i get to this story.. i better list who was there. mister tuesday night, the four dollar man, tommy toaster, shawn & marie, the babyshitter, myk, toc, along with devin. and we were still waiting for others to come out like the skater trash, tasha, kink, & some others... i don't really remember. but anywho... it was myself, shawn, & the four dollar man all ripping around in the field with shawn's little extended cab ford ranger. by this time i was pretty tuned up & well i guess we all were but we were sober enough to know what we were doing. we ended up going to the end of the field where we found a loggging road so we decided to rip down it for a little while to see what was on it plus we were kinda drunk & drinking & driving is fun... especially on logging roads where the only people we can hurt is ourselves. so we were ripping down the road & we come up to a huge machine. it's a log skidder... a massive vehichle that makes logging roads & clears out trees. you got to love living in the hicks sometimes. so we tried to start it but it wasn't working cause it was dark & we couldn't find the key.. well maybe those things don't even have keys.... so we said fuck it & started ripping down the road once again. that's when we came up to a dump truck. and it was unlocked so we jumped in. the four dollar man was in the driver's seat & i was sitting shotgun. we looked around for a little bit & he flipped down the visor & the keys fell into his lap. he used to work at a log truck shop so he knew how to drive log trucks... and a dump truck is the same damn thing. so he started it up & i was like 'dude... lets take it to the party'... and that was that. we had a mission to go back to the party with a dump truck.. hell yes. we let it warm up letting all the right pressures build & such for a truck. and then we started off down the road to the party. there was like a tree that had fell in the road earlier in the week or something but they cut it off right at the edge of the road & the four dollar man swirved & nailed it like it was nothing. the we get to the field but there was a bunch of small trees that lined the road until we reached the road we had entered but the four dollar man said fuck it & just turned into them. bam & we ran those little fuckers other like nothing & i think we jumped the ditch that was there with this dump truck that we were operating. so we cruised up to the bonfire through the field & stopped it. the look on everyone's faces was so priceless dude... their eyes were big as softballs for sure. so he shut it off & then we jumped out. i thought everyone was going to die when they saw it was us... fucking comedy i swear! and then when everyone else arrived they're like 'what the fuck is a dump truck doing here?' so i explained everything to everyone & by that time i was fucked up & so was the four dollar man. later on in the night we decided that we better take it back & put it back where it was so we didn't get in trouble. well... the four dollar man was way too drunk to drive it back & i didn't know how in the shit to drive a truck like that but somehow or another... the skater trash seane knew how to drive it. so the four dollar man & seane jumped in it & i jumped in with shawn in his ranger & we followed them back to the spot & seane put it right back where it was... like it had never left. i jumped in it & whiped off everything with my shirt sleeve to get rid of the finger prints just incase & seane put the keys back in the visor. and we went back to the party. damn those mary clark parties were so badass but the following weekend kinda ruined that place & we never got to go back there but that is a whole different story all together.....
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Dec. 3rd, 2004 @ 03:03 pm i need to drown in flames to be free
Current Music: six feet under - hells bells
at the moment i'm making myself some toast cause toast is like one of the only things that i can actually eat when i first wake up in the morning.... even though it's not morning. but the other 2 things i can eat are.... scrambled eggs & cold pizza. pizza from the night before makes the best breakfast in the world dude.. i am so not shitting you... try it gangstas.

fucking fridays man... i swear. not drinking tonight due to the fact that i don't want to drink by myself & i don't think kristin will drink with me. so i think me & her are just going to kick it even though she'll probabaly come over mass late to hang out cause she'll get talking on the phone with lindsay or someone. all i know it that i rather hang out with someone in person than talk with someone on the phone even if it's my bestfriend. but i'm also mister tuesday night so yeah... anywho i really hate the rain. i want this shit to stop for like a fucking day & be all sunny even if it's going to be cold as fuck... then i want kristin to not have to work... then we can finally roll to second beach & chill. i really like kristin.. and i really want to do something chill with her besides watching horror movies which i don't mind cause i watch horror movies religiously anyways... might as well do it with a hella gorgeous girl right? it's just kind of hard to do things with people in forks cause this place blows dude!... there is jack shit to do except for touching yourself. eeee...hahha.. yeah. she said something last night that made me think to myself... well she actually asked a question: "if i quit cheating... would you date me?" so that got me thinking... did she ask that because she would go out with me?... or was she just asking to see what i thought? in any order... i would so go out with her... she's fucking rad.

there are so many fucking cd's i need to get dude... like cock and ball torture just came out with a new album intitled 'egoleech'. i'm never going to find that cd... might as well have jeff download it for me if he ever gets his server back up & running. then i'm so wanting to get the new six feet under album.. 'graveyard classics 2'... such a badass album concept. just redo an entire ac/dc album... that is so fucking badass. i've been slacking hard & haven't got the new lamb of god either... i thought it was lame when i first heard it on fuse but then i heard the entire album while partying at myk's & that shit rips dude!... i know there are a million other cd's i want but i can't think of anything at the moment... i hate it when my mind goes blank... fuck me santa
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Dec. 2nd, 2004 @ 04:25 pm lanzar la luna en chinga tu madre
Current Music: blood duster - grossman the meatman
it feels as if i'm on a neverending circle that i can't bail off of... never changing... crazy huh?

fucking aye dude... i woke up 2:30 in the afternoon today... so lamecore. kristin came over earlier & woke me up but she was just getting her hoody cause she had to go to work... damn that work! haha.... but then my bed was rawking so hard that i didn't want to leave it... especially since my electric blanket was on. kristin & i were going to go to the beach today & walk it but she had to work. plus that kinda worked out in the sense that it wasn't the greatest of weather days... somewhat drizzling. the beach would have been hella cold for sure. anywho.... i didn't get to go xmas shopping yet.... i think i'm going to go next week by myself. everyone is pretty much easy to get for... i don't see how people are like... 'oh you're so hard to shop for'... i just want to kick those people in the heads. you just have to look at the person & see what they like & what they're interests are & bam... that easy. now i just need to figure out who i am getting presents for... i got like my main crew but outside of the crew... i'm not too sure. i already got kristin's present.. and she's hella pissed cause she doesn't like people getting her stuff. well that's too bad hahaha... cause i'm mister tuesday night & everyone knows that i get everyone presents. especially on xmas cause i'm like mister xmas when the holiday season hits.... it's so gangster! i so get to put lights on the house this year... even though i haven't exactly figured out how i'm going to yet with my knee... plus i get to put up the train & the little city... xmas fucking rawks!
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Nov. 29th, 2004 @ 03:35 pm bloody stump fuckings
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: none
turkeyday was the biggest bunch of bullshit ever dude. there was no hardcore parties while everyone was in town. of course i got drunk but half of the time it was just like myself & the babyshitter with like myk or the skater trash there... but they always pass out. but i did have my speghetti & ham which rawked so hard. if christmas is anything like the turkeyday holiday season... i'm going to be hella pissed. i don't think it will though cause a lot more people are going to be around like toastmaster... and i think i'm going to have to get ahold of rice patty man & make him come up for a few days while this shit is going down. kink will most likely be in town as well.... and i don't know who else... everyone is somewhat slipping my mind. it would be hella tight if DPH & NTC came up from california... those 2 are always fun as fuck to chill with. damn.. i have chilled with those 2 in over a year... that is mass crazy.


yesterday sucked... it was one of those typical worthless sundays... well not all of it. kristin came over for a little bit in the morning & we chilled but that didn't go well at the time so she took off. but she called me & everything was cool for the most part. then for the rest of the day i just sat in my room & watched movies. not even horror movies dude... i watched like... fuck i don't even remember what i did watch.... and that was it. i fell asleep a few times just chilling there... then got up & watched some shit on the satillite. then i tried to go to sleep but for some stupid fucking reason dude i could not so i laid in my bed for 4 hours & then finally took some sleeping pills at like 5am & finally cashed out. thus far today... my day has been lame. fucking ruby came over for some reason like right after i woke up.. then kristin came over & she seemed mad or something cause she just walked in & got something & left... just like that.. i don't know. so for the rest of this beautiful day... mister tuesday night is going to do nothing. the only plans i have for today is to watch some good ole monday night raw. whoopi... wrestling is sucking so hard these days. and some point in the day i'm going to roll to thriftway & get some food cause i like ran out of all the stuff i like.

i need to get a xmas tree my gangstas..... but first i need to go to port angeles & get all of my xmas stuff like my tree stand & my lights & decorations.... mmmmm... xmas makes me want to touch it. i could like so sleep with my xmas trees... well if it wasn't for the fact that are kinda woody & might have spiders in them.. and the damn pitch. otherwise i'd hit that shit up dude. i'm going to put the tree in the big house with me... i gots to like move some stuff around in the living room so i can fully rawk it hard ya know?
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Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 06:33 pm happy turkeyday mother fuckers
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: none
damn gangsta.... i'm so fucking tired right now... i think i just fell asleep at the computer like 5 minutes ago. well it's thanksgiving.... what in the shit am i thankful of?.... metal! hell yeahs... so last night the babyshitter came over with his little brother known as babynugget. then TOC came over & we all started drinking some beer. myk came over with cory but took off cause they were stoned & wanted some food... typical stoner trash. jeff showed up right as they were leaving so we just all sat in the living room drinking & talking about all sorts of crazy shit. around like 2 am TOC told us that we should all go over to her rents' house & drink with her mom & dad... so i was like... sure why not. it was crazy over there... her parents act like our age.. it's hilarious nothing much happened over there... just drank & then some point during the night... i got wasted. i think it was when i told jeff to make me a drink & it was like 85% whiskey. tight though.... TOC like disappeared... i think she got wasted & passed out in her room or something but we still just chilled with her dad. then i was sleeping the next morning all peaceful when kristin comes busting into my room & starts jumping on my bed.... i was like holy damn... what the shit is happening. so that's been my turkeyday... i think i'm going to go sleep until someone comes & wakes me up then i'm going to go get some beer & maybe call some of my friends that don'[t live around here... like toastmaster, kink, or rice patty man.
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Nov. 24th, 2004 @ 05:24 pm wondering thoughts that lead to touching it
Current Mood: silly
Current Music: regurgitate - parade of the decapitated midgets
dude yesterday was so fucking rad.... well actually just something that happened. like kristin came over like she always does & she let my run a knife blade over her stomach. but then she let me handcuff her to my bed while she was face down & then i gots to run the knife blade along her back for a while.... i'm not talking about cutting her... just slighty going along her skin. the knife was hella sharp so even by my going lightly... it still left marks. but that seriously was so fucking sexy.....that turned me on huge. then after that... she made me put on her pants which is fucking hella tight. mister tuesday night is not used to wearing pants that tight.... but i felt like such a rawk star with them on. she said i looked hella sexy so who knows.... i guess it wouldn't hurt if i got a couple of pairs & rawked them from time to time... if it means her touching me & such... i'm all for it. plus if i get some tight pants... she said she'll get some fishnets & rawk corsets. now that is sexy dude... i'm just going to be like... oh damn & then fall to the ground.

turkeyday is tomarrow.... i still have no clue what i'm going to do. i'm trying to talk the babyshitter into going out to the property but he's not too sure if his rents are going to let it fly. all i know is that i'm cooking some spaghetti & eating some ham. probabaly go pick up some beer just to chill with until the night time activities hit than the shit is so on finactually for sure dude! even though i have no idea what they are. lets see.... the four dollar man will most likely being doing family shit most of the weekend... the babyshitter says he wants to roll out of forks like saturday.... myk & the skater trash are coming out but skater trash is rolling with jeff on friday to seattle cause they're going to fly to new york city to rawk it hard i guess... i guess that just leaves myk out here to rawk the most with me... well besides kristin. i just don't know what her weekend is going to be like cause i heard her mom & sister are coming. so i'm not sure if she's going to be chilling with them or not... hopefully she'll be able go out & come chill with me. fouts will most likely be around this weekend... nothing is for sure... and that's all i gots to mention

touch it cause you know you wanna... ooohhaa... hahaa!
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Nov. 22nd, 2004 @ 07:57 pm mondays sometime suck... indeed gangsta
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: none
i need to re dye my hair black i'm thinking. i wanted to bleach it & dye it like bright red cause it's getting to a crazy lenth that would look hella tight but i doubt i will. so yeah... this entry is going to be hella random. i took my leg rehab machine back to port angeles earlier today..... lamecore trip cause it was just like an in & out trip. kristin & i were originally going to take it to port townsend then roll to silverdale so i could like try on tight pants.. hahaha shit son. but i was mass tried cause i only got around 3 hours of sleep... but luckily i only had to roll into pizzle a. damn i'm gangsta.

fucking turkeyday is almost here. i guess hella fam are going to be coming out here & eating or something like that... fucking stupid. i hate family.. they're fucking rejects. the shit if i even know how a cool mother fucker like myself is related to them.. oh yeah... my rents humped. damn the humping! hahha.... i just wanted to do my turkeyday dinner for myself cause the rents usually leave & go somewhere else. i wanted my pizza... my ham... my spaghetti... and my mac & cheese! oh well though..... i heard a wild rumor that the babyshitter along with myk & the skater trash are going to make an appearence out in the forks area for turkeyday. dude... last years was intense.... i got all sorts of fucked up. hopefully all goes well this year and i don't end up getting in another car accident even though they're so damn fun. after turkeyday is over... it's like x-mas. x-mas fucking owns dude... i get to rawk a tree... put up lights.... touch myself... all the usual stuff. tommy toaster is coming back home... along with a baggoda of other people. sometime in early december i gots to roll into silverdale & do some shopping. i have not a clue what i am going to get anyone.... maybe everyone is getting porn.... that or alcohol. well besides people like kristin... i have to actually think about what to get her. hmmmm.... i'm getting myself a keg! i'm going to wake up x-mas morning & start hammering down hard on the keg of busch.... well that's the plan at least.... might change before now & then.

i think slayer is going to be in seattle sometime in december... i would totally love to hit that up but i need to save all my cash for x-mas presents. plus the roads are going to be mass narly... and also my knee is still not fully 100% my knee is more like... 58% right now i'm thinking... just a guesstimate. so at a slayer show.. it'd get mass fuckered up dude.

i think i'm going to write a novel about zombies.... like not just human ones... but having everything as the undead would be such a hella sick idea for sure. i mean like dogs... cats... elephants.... snakes... sharks... i mean everything. it would be the end of the world so fast. and everything would be hella fast just like in the dawn of the dead remake. humans & animals both would like attack whatever was alive. so like a human could get infected & turn into a zombie from a raccoon bite. i'll have like a pact of zombie wolves running around attacking... little kids... turning them all into the undead. maybe even have like a group of kids attack a tiger at the zoo... kill it... eat a little bit of it... then have the tiger transform into the undead later. i mean... this idea could be huge! what am i talking about.. it is huge!///... oooohhaaa touch it! hahaha.... now i just need a hardcore name for this story.... i'll think later.
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Nov. 20th, 2004 @ 05:56 pm just jacking off
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: guttermouth - part of 2..(your table is ready)
dude rehab fucking owns!.... i'm like walking a mile or 2 everyday. the first day i did it.. i made the four dollar man walk with me & we hit up a mile & a half. then yesterday i tried to walk it but it was mass cold... like freezing... cause this time of the year is narly for the weather so i only got in a half of a mile. then today i walked 2 miles cause i have nothing better to do. i've been waiting for kristin to wake up but that silly little head was still sleeping at 4:30 in the afternoon. i don't blame her.. we always stay up mass late watching horror movies. i just set my alarm so i don't waste the day... even though there is nothing to do.

myk, the skater trash, & b rad are throwing a kegger tonight in port angeles. as much as i love to drink beer... especially keg beer... i'm bowing out of this event. i don't really know why yet.. perhaps i don't want to drive to port angeles & then end up sleeping on their floor with no blankets... or maybe it's the fact that i don't really want to drink. yeah i know... since when does mister tuesday night pass on a kegger? the anwser is simple... #1 i'm getting in shape... can't be messing up my leg rehab. #2 i have a totally gorgeous girl to hang out with. i'd much rather hang out with a hottie that's hella rad than go & get wasted & not remember anything! she's not that much of a drinkers so it works out pretty well. so my plans for the night are to chill with kristin... and the four dollar man... doing something... adios
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Nov. 17th, 2004 @ 09:58 pm some ramblings
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: none
i guess we're having a huge storm tonight or something... the shit if i know. this forks place is getting me hella down. i can only watch horror movies for so long... but port angeles isn't sounding that fun either anymore. like i want to move back & start painting again but like myk & the skater trash are working hella hours. money is good.. don't get me wrong but i was somewhat of a life afterwards even if it's doing nothing. i think it's just this time of year.... i think i get down around this time of the year... the dark early.. the constant rain... i don't know. and maybe it's because i'm alone. i don't know what's going on with kristin & myself.... we both want to get together but something will come up & probabaly end horrible. i don't like making friends only to lose them... it would be pointless to go through out life doing such a thing. i know if we did get together... she would eventually cheat on me... and she knows that too. so that's one way that it'd end horrid. but the thing is that i actually like her a lot.... i feel mass comfortable around her. we get along hella good.. and we gots lots in common... well besides the music thing... she's huge into emo & well.... everyone knows i'm metal as fuck! hahaha.... but i would like more out of this relationship. it just kinda sucks... everytime i see her, i get happy. she seriously makes me happy. it's not everyday i can find a girl who can watch horror movies everyday with... ya know? she has an addictive personallity.... i love being around her. and it doesn't hurt that she's mass beautiful!... she doesn't think so but what person really thinks they are besides stupid blonde bitches? i see her & i'm just like 'holy shit'... i just creamed my jeans! hahaha.... well most of the time. i wish this stupid town had more things to do... i'd totally dig going out & doing stuff with her. i sucks that i like her so much cause if she goes out & does get together with someone in this town... they're just going to use her for sex & think nothing more of her... i mean she likes sex & all but i don't want her to get hurt... and plus i know the guys in this stupid town. i guess herself & MGD we getting together but that never really went all the way through. good point is.. that i suppose when they were together... he took kink home with him that one night... remember my bitchings? she most likely doesn't know about that... and well she might not even care. point is... that she's an awesome girl & she diserves someone that's going to treat her hella good. damn... i'm sounding all emo & such... hold on... clear my throut "puke on my cock and jerk me off while i eat that bloody hole!!!" i had to throw something metal in dammit... can't be all pussy ya know?
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Nov. 16th, 2004 @ 02:30 pm life is a strange bubble that is always expanding & deflating
Current Mood: rawking
Current Music: forsaken - blackened/ six feet under - back in black
dude... it has been so damn crazy around here lately. like i went to port angeles for halloween & it ended up being pretty lamecore... just got wasted. but i did get to chill with some port angeles friends so that's chill. like i haven't been up to much after that. watching horror movies & playing tony hawk's underground 2 on my gamecube. since i don't really do anything during the day.. i should be writing on my novel. the 'las vegas' chapter is almost done.. i've just been lazy. i say during the day because during the night i usually hang out with kristin... i'll tell ya a story.

so yeah... she's ruby & jaymi's cousin that i had ruby introduce me to cause i saw her walking into the mexican resturaunt once day & i was like 'holy shit.. who is that?' so i finally did meet her & that was like that. apparently jaymi told her to stay away from me & maybe that's why i never saw her or anything but who in the hell knows. but the weekend before last.. myk & the skater trash were coming out to forks... so i get this call from ruby & she's all like 'me & my cousin kristin are going to come over & party with you guys' so was like hell yes!... well we ended up having a pretty good size party here... the first one was broke up but everyone came back & that's when kristin & ruby came over. i made the biggest attempt ever to try to talk with her as much as i could dude... i don't think i've ever tried that hard to talk with a girl.. i was on a mission! so i ended up talking with her a lot that night. the next day.. (known as hangover from hell day) i was like taking a nap on the couch, when all of the sudden the door opens & it's kristin & ruby. kristin takes a seat & then ruby just leaves with kristin still being there. i was so stoked... so i got to hang out with her for such a long time just one on one. which was nice cause i got to know her better & she got to know me better. so like all last week we hung out just chilling & getting close... seemed that we going to get together. i mean.. we just have good chemestry.... i feel really comfortable around her. well then... last weekend happened. she ended up going to port angeles & staying with jaymi & i knew nothing good was going to come of that.... since they are cousins & what not... she would tell her a bunch of lies & tell her how much of a loser i am. cause somewhere in her stupid head.. jaymi doesn't want me to be with anyone even though she's married... i know this cause she's told me before. plus kristin is her cousin so that doesn't help me.... i got screwed! but back to the story gangsta's.... i went & talked with her outside & she's like 'you know we're just going to be friends right'.... best thing ever to hear! fuck.... so i asked why of course.... she then gave me a laundry list of things.... #1 she apparently promised jaymi... #2 she doesn't want an alcoholic boyfriend... #3 apparently i see jaymi when i look at her... #4 she would cheat on me..... not the greatest of things to hear. all of them are bullshit reason... cause i don't see jaymi when i see her, as far as me being an alcoholic.... that cracks me the fuck up! hell yes i like to get fucked up... who the hell doesn't & when you're in forks... what else are you going to do... watch sitcoms on the tv?.. fucking losers! i'm not addicted to alcohol & i do believe that what an alcoholic is... someone who can't stop & lets it ruin his or her life. my life looks pretty damn good to me besides having knee surgery. but i'm not a fan of this cheating thing she likes to do. i mean she's like proud of doing it all of those time to her ex-boyfriends. i mean that is seriously fucked up.... i've cheated before & i felt like ass for doing it... and that's why i'm never going to do it again. i know what it's like to be cheated on... it fucking hurts & why would you want another human to feel like that??!?! fuck cheaters right in the ass dry & hard.. make them bleed!

but anywho..... other than that... kristin & i get a long pretty well. we still hang out & such. she brought up some weird things last night while we were laying there watching a movie. she said we have a strange relationship... cause we're like right on a line... of friends & something more. cause we do lay with each other & watch movies & cuddle. then later she asked me 'is the reason your not trying is because i cheat?' and of couse i said yes cause it's true. i mean i like her a lot... if it wasn't for the fact that she cheats... she would almost be perfect. so gorgeous... awesome style & additude... she can watch horror movies 24 hours a day... doesn't listen to what everonce else is listening to (musicwise). i mean she rawks. so i don't know what is going to come of us.... it's hella sketch to even assume anything... i'm down with being her friend though. even though i would so date her..... we'll see
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Oct. 28th, 2004 @ 06:26 pm halloween is just around the corner
Current Music: fear factory - slave labor
over 2 weeks have passed since i've had my damn surgery! it's been a shitty time.. let me tell you! the first couple days afterwards totally killed. and that damn leg machine was retarded... hurt the fucker so bad! the day finally came where i gots to see my wounds... they we're badass! my big insission is still hardcore... won't stop bleeding for anything. and these crutches suck! i've got drunk a few times & it just doesn't work well with the crutches. like this one time i totally cased it trying to go up the front steps at my house... it was chill cause i was wasted & i didn't mess anything up but i did laugh my ass off until i thought i was going to piss myself! the shitty thing is that... i'm on crutches until november 15th... then i can finally ditch 'em!

but anywho. i've been playing star wars battlefront on my playstation 2 like mad!... that game is so damn addicting. i like going & stealing the empires walkers & blowing the fuck out of shit as i rip around the level. 2 player splitscrean is the best.. on co-op mode. shit gets so out of control. the four dollar man & i have been busting out! i think i'm going to get it for my gamecube cause my playstation 2 is still being a bastard & not playing discs. so i'm just going to have to buy the new flat playstation 2 so i can aquire grand theft auto: san andreas along with killzone... i like first person shooters.. it gives me the satisfaction of doing some good killings hahaha.

dude... it's monsterfest all week on AMC... that's 24 hours of horror movies all week long. that must mean it's halloween coming up?... well sure as shit.. it is! i'm actually going to get to wear my preist costume!.. cause i'm rolling into port angeles & going to a costume party on saturday night at my friend damion's house.... it should be the shit son! i'm going to get trashed while being on crutches & in a preist costume... this is going to totally own.. for sure!
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Oct. 13th, 2004 @ 11:11 am ouch
Current Music: slayer - payback
whats up/.... i survived knee surgery so i thought i'd let everyone know... it fucking hurts like a mother fucker.. that's all i had to say...
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Oct. 11th, 2004 @ 11:58 pm ...10-30 what is your lo-cal?.. over
Current Mood: discontent
so here i am... the eve of my surgery. i still don't have my room in order or jack shit. kink moved today.. which makes me hella bummed. her mom came & picked her up hella early.. like 10:30 in the morning so i had to say my good byes still have asleep. i was hoping that she would have ran by later on in the day but she didn't. it so fucking sucks that she had to move.... i wish she could have just lived here with me... or moved with me whenever i move back to port angeles. and what really FUCKING sucks is my surgery tomarrow~! i get to lay in bed for like 2 weeks... i fucking hate laying in bed!... i get no fucking halloween... and yes i am pissed about this shit. i have to take out my lip ring sometime before i go to bed cause they say i can't be having that shit... cause that ain't how they roll nigga./ shit son.... and kink is gone!!!!!!! who in the flying burrito is going to entertain me?... and like help me out. man i don't know. it feels like my life just ended today... bleh. but anywho...

dude... jeff & i so went hunting this weekend & today! hahha it was rad even though we didn't get to shoot any grouse. i saw one today but my fucking safety on my shotgun was on so the fucker got away. so i ended up shooting some trees. plus we had 2 way radios with us... it was tight over. hahah.. we were rawking those things all weekend... they got out of control. this weekend i realized that i'm going to be a rapper! hahaha... like saying 'what' & shit after sentences. jeff is going to get me a music program for my computer... it's going to rawk hard! but yeah.. thats about it... over
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Oct. 8th, 2004 @ 02:09 pm so fuck stick?... that's it?
alright... i have no clue what in the fuck i was talking about in my last post.... i can't even remember writing that cause i was so drunk last night... the only thing that made snese was nichole living at my house cause she is until monday then she's moving to auburn with her mom. so i guess kink doesn't hate me cause she's living with me... the reason behind it is.... her sister kicked her out cause her sister is a bitch at times... trys to be her mom & shit like that. so... she's at my house. um... i got so fucking drunk last night... supposely i told kink to punch me & she did... now my lip hurts... i guess i was bleeding a lot too... the fuck if i remember that. never play a card game called 8's with mixes instead of beer... shit fucks you up.... the babyshitter is going to be here this weekend... touch it
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Oct. 8th, 2004 @ 12:38 am dammit
Current Mood: drunk
nichole is living with me..... no one has a say in her staying with me.... no one has a promblem with her chilling with mister tuesday night & just chilling with him..... i mean he's cool!... and all....well... yeah....
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